<![CDATA[Lewis Dix - Home]]>Mon, 14 Mar 2016 16:10:39 -0700Weebly<![CDATA[Cover Reveal - Dark Lord]]>Fri, 22 Nov 2013 15:46:28 GMThttp://www.lewisdix.com/home/cover-reveal-dark-lordWell November has practically come and gone. Freaking time travel, man. Next week is Thanksgiving, people!!

If you've been sitting around worrying about me, wondering why there hasn't been a blog post in weeks (which, come on, we all know you have) then I'm here to tell you to stay your fears! I've been slaving away on I, Dark Lord, Volume 2 in my Minion Chronicles and the "hotly-anticipated sequel" (says my Mom!) to I, Minion.  I'm planning to release it next week sometime...early early December at the latest.

I know, right? Only five months late, no big deal. To hold you over until then, here's the finalized cover for I, Dark Lord, which is basically like sex for your eyeballs. So get ready for the forthcoming eyegasm!
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<![CDATA[Believe in yourself and dare to fail]]>Thu, 24 Oct 2013 21:45:08 GMThttp://www.lewisdix.com/home/believe-in-yourself-and-dare-to-failIt's important to believe in yourself. I know I don't, most of the time.

I'm sure some of you don't either. It's a battle we fight daily. We look at the task before us, be it writing a book or signing up for classes or talking to a cute guy, and we say "I'm not pretty/smart/funny/strong/good enough." But you know what? We're wrong. We are all of those things, or at least we should be. If to nobody else but ourselves. You have to believe in you and chase after your dreams, because if you don't you're going to end up stuffing that dream into an envelope and then ripping it up year after year, like this guy...
Keeping talent hidden away all those years for fear of failure? It's a god damn travesty.

Okay, so we can't all sing like that...but that's not the point. The point is this man listened to the voices telling him that he couldn't do it, be it from friends or family or the ones inside his own head. He allowed that fear of failure to keep him from even trying.

Don't let that be you. Try to do the things you've been afraid of doing because you were worried that you would fail. Go back to school. Talk to that girl you've been crushing on for months. Start a business. Write that damn book. Put yourself out there, whatever. Just do it.

Maybe it won't work out. Maybe you'll make a fool of yourself in the process. But you know what? The world will move on, as will you. Should you succeed, however, the world will stop, if only for a moment, and take notice. And that's something that can never be taken away from you. More importantly, you won't waste five years of your life wondering what could have been.

"Why do we fall, Bruce? So we can pick ourselves back up." -- Thomas Wayne
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<![CDATA[Still Alive (And Doing Science! Sorta...)]]>Tue, 22 Oct 2013 21:16:55 GMThttp://www.lewisdix.com/home/still-alive-and-doing-science-sortaPictureMy newly-acquired beard. O-hai Liam!
In case you didn't know, it's October 22nd. As in, almost November. What the hell! I swear yesterday was July and then I blinked and now it's friggin October!! How does that happen? (TIME TRAVEL, DUH!!)

So what have I been up to, aside from NOT finishing I, Dark Lord and putting it out there for what I can only assume to be your rabid consumption. Well, for starters, I updated my website. See? I copied over my old blog posts (all eleven of them...) but lost the comments in the process. Sorry about that! Also, you're welcome!

What else? Let's see...oh, here's something that's kind of a big deal. I quit my job. After working for seven years as a member of the fun police I just felt like it was time to do something else. And so, with the support of my loving wife I threw away a lot of money and amazing benefits and a badass retirement so that I could become a broke college student and stay-at-home dad. Dumb, I know. But also incredibly awesome, because life is far too short to spend 40+ hours a week someplace you don't want to be.

"Great!" you're saying. "You should have more time to write now, yes? So why isn't Dark Lord finished?"  Funny you should ask! Surprisingly, I find myself with even LESS free time than I did when I was away from home for ten+ hours a day. How is that even possible? (TIME TRAVEL, DUH!!!) I'm not really sure, but there it is. Throw in the fact that we're now responsible for two more (great) kids and the recent sudden death of my dog and let's just say that my head has not been in the game.

BUT GUESS WHAT!?! NOW IT IS!!! YAAAAAYAYAAYA!! COMMENCE WITH THE LIBATIONS!!


I was actually up until 1:30AM last night writing a kick-ass chapter for I, Dark Lord that was definitely missing from the beginning of the story. I plan on writing my ass off for the next eight days and finally finishing this book before the end of the month. I owe that not only to you guys but to myself. After that, it's NaNoWriMo, during which I intend to finish I, Champion in 30 days or less, alongside continuing to ace all my classes and clean the house and take care of four children and...and..and...and...

That's all for now. Later, minions!! 

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<![CDATA[Pacific Rim!]]>Fri, 19 Jul 2013 19:37:58 GMThttp://www.lewisdix.com/home/pacific-rimPicture
ENGAGING NEURAL BRIDGE. WE HAVE DRIFT.
(You’re now inside my head, dear readers…and yes, you’re f$&ked!)














On Monday, I was fortunate enough to watch Pacific Rim on the big screen. To put it simply: It rocked! There, you can now skip over the rest of this blog post, throw on some pants, and ask the nearest pretty girl/guy (or both!) to accompany you to your local movie theater where you’ll be able confirm this scientific fact for yourselves. (Pants are optional!)

Pacific Rim was probably the most fun I’ve had at the movies since The Avengers. No joke. I loved The Dark Knight Rises. Iron Man 3 was pretty good, and Silver Linings Playbook might just be one of my favorite movies of all time. But Pacific Rim…it’s hard to put into words.

GIANT ROBOTS & GIANT MONSTERS PUNCHING EACH OTHER IN THE FACE AND SHIT! 

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If you need more than the above tagline to convince you that it’s worth your while to go watch this movie on the biggest screen available to you, how about this: Pacific Rim is one of the few good summer blockbusters with an original story. It’s not a prequel or a sequel or based off a comic book or a remake or any of that nonsense that Hollywood loves spewing out. And while it certainly pays homage to movies like Godzilla and tv shows like Gundam Wing (and MechWarrior video games and Transformers all kinds of other awesome), I’d say it’s more of a love letter than a rehash.

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AND IT’S GOT GIANT ROBOTS AND GIANT MONSTERS PUNCHING EACH OTHER IN THE FACE AND SHIT!  

<------------------------------ see Exhibit A

Does the movie suffer from not having the best characterization ever? Maybe. But you have to remember that we’ve all been spoiled by The Dark Knight. I don’t think any genre film (that is to say, sci-fi, fantasy, techno-thriller, etc) is ever going to match that comic-bomb of awesomness. And besides, who goes to a movie like this expecting to come across some intense character drama? You go to this movie so you can sit in your chair smiling like an idiot (like I did!) while you watch Jagers battle Kaiju in oceans, across cities, and even in outer space.

Pacific Rim brought out the little kid in me, and I really had to dig down deep in order to fight the urge to wake up my children in the middle of the night so that we could all play with their toys.

There’s a lot to love about this movie. But instead of listening to me ramble on and on about all the fun little nuances (like the iconic Russian theme music that played every time the Cherno Alpha Jaeger was on screen) you should go and see it for yourself. Maybe I’ll see you there, with my wife and children in tow (sorry babe but you’re not getting out of this one!)


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<![CDATA[Hey June (I think i love you)]]>Tue, 02 Jul 2013 19:26:37 GMThttp://www.lewisdix.com/home/hey-june-i-think-i-love-youPictureDO YOU SEE IT!?
The month of June has been very kind to me.

So it wasn’t my best sales month ever.
No, I didn’t finish I, DARK LORD on time.
I did have to work 16 days with only 3 days off scattered in between there (6/1/6/1/4).
Yes, my home air conditioner broke just as a record-setting heatwave came rolling through.

But none of that is June’s fault. I don’t blame her for my misfortunes and failings.

You see, I’m a glass half-full kind of guy. Always have been. It’s both my gift and my curse. And when I look back on the month of June, I see the effort my wife, friends, and family put into making Father’s Day special. I see the stress-fest my wife (again…she’s an angel people!) went through in order to throw me an amazing surprise gathering for my birthday. I remember how much fun my boys had at my (now) 7 year old’s birthday party.

Not to mention getting featured on Kindle Books and Tips, which increased I, MINION‘s sales (by A LOT) and helped it to break back into the Top 100 of Dark Fantasy for the first time since it’s release back in April.

















Throw in the fact that we were reviewed at 4 different blogs.
AND that I had my first ever author interview.
AND 15 reviews at Goodreads with a 4.20 average.
AND 13 reviews at the ‘Zon with a 4.7 average rating.

Are you starting to see June like I do? Is your glass half-full yet? Because in case you missed it, let me spell it out for you: IT ROCKED! LIKE FOR REALZ! I CAN’T EVEN FIND MY SOCKS!! THAT’S HOW BADLY (GOODLY?) IT ROCKED!! 

That being said, it’s time for me to dive back into the mind of the Dark Lord. Only he’s not the Dark Lord, not yet. He’s still just Sakroth. But things are collapsing around him, and he’s starting to slip.

Later, minions!


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<![CDATA[Reviews!!]]>Mon, 24 Jun 2013 19:21:43 GMThttp://www.lewisdix.com/home/reviewsMinions!! Behold!! Nah, just kidding.

I just wanted to pop in real quick to share some awesome happenings with you all. As of today, Sunday the 24th of June (Holy crap!! This month is flying by!) we’ve had four, that’s right, FOUR book bloggers review I, Minion. That’s not to take away from all you amazing peoples who’ve taken the time to write reviews via Amazon or Goodreads because seriously, you guys and gals rock.

Said bloggers (links to be found below) gave us a 4/5, 5/5, 3/5, and 4/5. *fist-pump*

I also did my very first author interview over at Dee’s Reads!! You should go check it out ASAP!

Dee’s Reads: 4/5 stars
Step Into Fiction: 5/5 stars
Vailia’s Page Turner: 3/5 stars
Musings from an Addicted Reader: 4/5 stars

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<![CDATA[Two weeks Notice (I, Dark Lord)]]>Tue, 18 Jun 2013 19:19:38 GMThttp://www.lewisdix.com/home/two-weeks-notice-i-dark-lordPicture
It is with a sick child in my arms and a heavy heart that I come before you today. Well, more like a busted ego than a heavy heart. You see, this morning I realized that I, Dark Lord simply isn’t ready to be released on June 30th as I’d originally planned. I chose that date because it coincided with the birthday of my oldest child, and I’d already released I, Minion on my (now) 3 year old’s name-day. Figured it wouldn’t be fair of me to put a book out there on one kid’s birthday and not the others, right? Right! It would be even more unfair, however, to both you and me, if I were to release my second book without being absolutely confident in it’s erm…completeness.

I, Dark Lord is a bigger book in many ways. Not only in word count, (over twice as long as the first) but in ambition and scope. Here we have a character who has changed in so many ways, struggling with his feelings and with his guilt while simultaneously counting his lucky stars. We also have the titular Dark Lord — Sakroth, before he was in fact the Dark Lord. After all, nobody starts off bent on becoming a tyrannical overlord. Something has to happen along the way to transform them. What is it they say? The road to hell is paved with good intentions…

Now, I’m sure many writers struggle with the “second book blues.” I know I do. Worried that it’s not going to be as good as the first. That it won’t sell as well. Will anybody even want to read it? Are my characters evolving? Or is it just more of the same? These fears plague me constantly. But it wasn’t to their incessant whisperings that I finally succumbed. It was to my own. It’s not ready, plain and simple. Nor would it be by the 30th.

Does that mean I don’t believe in my book? Absolutely not! It’s precisely because I do believe that I know this is the right decision. Okay okay okay. So what’s the new release date? To be honest? I’m not sure. But right now I’m aiming for the 11th of July. Both ebook and print format. And I’ll be starting right away on I, Champion, because I’m sure you’ll be chomping at the bit to see how it all unfolds. I know I will be!

And since I feel bad, I’m going to leave you with a little teaser. This was the sketch my cover artist sent to me when we were first discussing how I wanted the cover for I, Dark Lord to look. It’s come a long way since…but still, it’s something.




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<![CDATA[I, Minion: The Aftermath (AKA How's It Going?)]]>Sun, 09 Jun 2013 19:15:32 GMThttp://www.lewisdix.com/home/i-minion-the-aftermath-aka-hows-it-goingPicture
As it’s been a couple of weeks since my last blog post, I figured I’d jump on here today to share with you all just how well things are going for me here in the writing life. Because, believe you me, things are going well. Especially when you take into consideration that I’m just some guy who wrote a book and decided to publish it himself on the internet. That, in my opinion, is the most important takeaway from all of this.

I’m just some guy who wrote a book and decided to publish it on the internet.

I often have family and friends ask me how many books I’ve sold, or how much money I’ve made. When I give them the numbers, I can see the look of disappointment on their faces or hear it in their voice (HI MOM!) as if they expected me to give them Stephen King or Fifty Shades of Grey like numbers. FUN FACT: One in five books sold in 2012 was a part of the Fifty Shades Trilogy. What these loved ones seem to forget is that I’m just some guy who wrote a book and decided to publish it on the internet.

But they shouldn’t feel too bad. Sometimes I have a hard time remembering this myself. I see other self-published writers report their successes and read the sales reports at the end of the month and I often think to myself: Man, how come I’m not selling that many books? Most of the time the answer is simple. I’m writing in the wrong genre. Many of the indie authors reporting massive sales write romance and erotica. Plain and simple. There is a giant market for those books. Their authors can’t seem to pump out new material fast enough. Paranormal romance is another big category.

Don’t believe me? Check out this book.

It’s about a freaking shape-shifting hedgehog. In love. And it’s in the Top 5,000 books on Amazon, which means it’s probably selling somewhere around 300+ copies a month. A book about a shape-shifting biker hedgehog hooking up with a bartender, not much longer than I, Minion, making its author over $500 a month. I’m in the wrong genre, see?

Only, I’m not. I love science-fiction and fantasy. I’ve grown up reading stories about elves and magical swords and dark wizards and spaceships and scary aliens ever since I was a kid. So it’s only natural that I’d want to start my own career in those same genres. Granted, I, Minion isn’t a typical fantasy story — but that’s okay. It’s my fantasy story, and I love it. And chances are, if you’re reading this long-winded blog post about I’m not even sure what anymore, then you loved it too.

That, my friends, is what it’s all about. Being a writer isn’t about the number of sales. It’s about making things up in your head and sharing them with others. Now, don’t get me wrong, I enjoy getting paid as much as the next guy, and I hope that one day I’ll be able to write full-time. Getting paid to make up stories? How cool is that! But that’s not why I do it. I do it because I enjoy it. Because I love finding out what happens to my characters just as much as you do. And because it’s a hell of a lot cheaper than half a dozen other hobbies I’ve had over the years.

Now, onto the stats! I published I, Minion on April 24th this year (Happy Birthday, Liam!). In just four days, these were our numbers:
  • 64 US Kindle sales
  • 7 iBook sales
  • 2 Nook sales

Note that these were all ebook sales, as that’s all I had available at the time. 73 sales, in 4 days!! To be honest, that’s about 70 more sales than I expected — and it’s all thanks to you. The way it works is, at the $0.99 price point, Amazon offers 35% royalty, B&N 40%, and iTunes 70%. As you can imagine, it didn’t add up to very much money for me. And that’s okay! I didn’t go into this expecting to become rich right away. In fact, I don’t expect to become rich at all.

May Sales:
  • 36 US Kindle Sales
  • 38 US Paperback Sales
  • 1 UK Kindle Sale
  • 2 iBook Sales
  • 3 Nook Sales
For a total of 80 sales in the month of May!! WOO! That’s freaking awesome! Remember, I’m just some guy who wrote a book and decided to publish it on the internet. And most likely my friends and family were responsible for the first 64 sales back in April. Now, while I don’t doubt that many of them purchased a copy in May — that also means we had numerous strangers buy a copy!

Thus far, a little over a month into this writing gig, and I’ve made about $50. Hey! That’s $50 that I made with my brain. $50 not from working, per say, but from doing something that I enjoy. So you see, I’m not exactly rolling in the dough. Especially when you take this into account:

  • Editing Cost for I, Minion: $90
  • Cover Design: $60
  • CreateSpace (Paperback) Proof: $13.50
  • CreateSpace order of 25 Books for Giveaway/Sale: $73.40
  • Mailing Costs for Giveaways/Reviews: $23
  • TOTAL EXPENSES: $259.90 TOTAL PROFIT: -$209.90

Throw in the $35 I’ve spent on a bit of marketing (joining a Kindle Fire Giveaway and getting featured in a daily Kindle Books and Tips e-mail on June 30th) and you can see that I’m REALLY not swimming in the dough. Far from it. But again, that’s okay. You see, even though the writer in me doesn’t care whether or not I get paid, the publisher in me does. It’s his job to make sure that I promote my work. That I find readers to read it. And, most importantly, that I sell it. He knows that as with any good business, you have to invest money to make money. So that’s what I’m doing. Investing $$ to put forth the best product that I can.

Hopefully, somewhere down the line, we’ll go in the black and actually start making money off this thing. In the meantime, the writer in me is going to keep writing books. Because it’s fun and he enjoys it. And if you decide to buy them and read them, the publisher in me will not only thank you, but jump up and down with joy and dance a little jig. Hmmmm, I see a youtube video in my future.

Got something to add to this convo? By all means, leave a comment. Happy Sunday! Is anyone else drinking yet? It’s not too early, is it? *peers over his shoulder*


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<![CDATA[Why We Must Remember the Fallen]]>Mon, 27 May 2013 19:10:32 GMThttp://www.lewisdix.com/home/why-we-must-remember-the-fallenPicture
Memorial Day. The official kickoff to summer, right? Today is about the 3-Bs – Barbeques, beaches, and beer! Wait, make that 4-Bs. BIKINIS!! You know, fun in the sun. And the best thing about today? Not having to go to work!

Now, you might be shaking your head. “That’s not right, Lewis. Not right at all.” Maybe not. Maybe today isn’t about all that stuff. But give it a few years, and it will be. I mean, how many of you even know what Memorial Day is all about? If your answer is, “To honor the men and women who serve our country as a member of the Armed Forces.” Well…you’d be wrong. Today is about celebrating the lives of those treasured few who gave their lives in the defense of this nation. It’s about honoring their sacrifice.

It began after the Civil War, in 1868. 215,000 Americans slain. Back then it was called “Decoration Day” and was only something that the military and its veterans took part in. It happened in May because by then flowers were fully in bloom, and that was what they used to decorate the graves. In fact, it wasn’t until many years later, 1967 to be exact, that “Memorial Day” became the federally recognized holiday that we all enjoy. Okay Lewis, enough with the history lesson.”

Right. Chances are, if you’re reading this blog post then you’re the type who already tries to remember those who died in war-time. You might fly a flag, attend a parade, or change your profile picture on Facebook. Some of you will put on a movie like “Heartbreak Ridge” or “Saving Private Ryan” or “Flags of our Fathers” so that you can get a feeling for what it was like to fight (and die) in battle against America’s enemies. For some of us, we need only to look back in our memories. Iraq. Afghanistan. Why, just this month we’ve lost 25 members of our Armed Forces. 25 families whose fathers/sons/brothers/uncles/cousins won’t get to crack open a beer and enjoy the summer, today, or any other day.






















I digress. It’s easy to get carried away, I guess. Because every day I see people living their lives – strangers, friends, family members – in complete ignorance of just how fortunate they really are. I watch my own children complain about the food on their plate and can’t help but think of the children all over the world who are too weak to move because they haven’t eaten in days, who will likely die before the week is through. Meanwhile, I feed the “good” scraps to my dogs and throw the rest in the trash. There I go again, off-tangent. See what I mean?

For many of us, and 99% of Americans, war is ancient history. Something that we’re just emotionally incapable of understanding. Especially for an entire generation (the Gen-Xers) who grew up without ever seeing a “real war” outside of a history book or movie. Then there are those, like myself, who have lived most or all of our lives under the shadow of 9/11. We knew that our military was over there in Iraq and Afghanistan fighting the “terrorists,” but for the most part were too busy living our lives to care.

There’s so many distractions, especially now-a-days. Who wants to think about those who have died, when we can obsess over why this person didn’t like our post or how come she’s taking so long to text me back? We don’t want to know the names of men and women who died before they got to enjoy many of the same things we ourselves have enjoyed. We don’t want to see the rows upon rows of white grave markers. We don’t want to hear their stories, or the heartbreak it caused the families to which they never returned. It’s too ugly, and sad. And ain’t nobody got time for that!

That’s what today’s about. Memorial Day. We have to remember. We have to see the ugliness, because without it you’ll never appreciate the beauty. We owe it to those 4,400 patriots who died during the American Revolution. To the 215,000 Americans who died in the Civil War. To the 53,000 who died in the First Great War AKA World War I. To the 292,000 members of the “greatest generation” who died in World War II. 33,667 in Korea. 47,393 in Vietnam. 148 in the Gulf War. 4,487 in Iraq. And finally, the 1,870 killed in Afghanistan.

It doesn’t matter if you agree with the leaders who sent us there. It is your duty to cherish their sacrifice, and to teach the youth of our nation to do the same. Not to glorify war, no, far from it. Make them understand. Make them remember. Let them see the horror — the lives lost. So that when the time comes, they choose the oft-less traveled path.

They are, after all, the future of our nation.


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<![CDATA[Unbroken Circles - My Review of Bioshock Infinite]]>Sat, 25 May 2013 19:06:46 GMThttp://www.lewisdix.com/home/unbroken-circles-my-review-of-bioshock-infinitePictureRoasted crow, anyone?
The short version: I really enjoyed this game. If you like video games then you should definitely pick this one up, even if you don’t care for first-person-shooters. It’s an ambitious and gruesomely fun game that examines the themes of imperialism and religious indoctrination and hey, you can order a flock of crows to attack somebody while setting them on fire. Winning!



That being said, I want to point out that nothing, and I mean nothing, that takes place in the 10 minute “game-play footage trailer” released back in 2011 actually happens in the game. The Skyhook/Skyrail system wasn’t nearly as cool or as expansive as it appeared, the enemies weren’t nearly as smart, and Elizabeth (your companion throughout the game, who is still awesome in her own right) wasn’t nearly as independent or useful. Not to mention the fact that the ominous Songbird that features so prominently in every bit of advertising for BS:I isn’t nearly as ominous it seems. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

In spite of these shortcomings, Bioshock:Infinite still managed to rock my socks off. It’s very rarely that a game captures my imagination to the point that I can think of little else, but BS:I did so in a spectacular faction. Notice the lack of movement on I, Dark Lord‘s progress bar? Blame Kevin Levine and the other developers over at Irrational Games. From the stunning visuals of a city floating above the clouds, to the fanatical hybrid-religion that combines 1800s Christianity with the worship of our Founding Fathers; I just couldn’t get the story of Booker and Elizabeth out of my head. Who were those cryptic twins that kept appearing at odd moments? How did Elizabeth come by her power? Who was Booker working for exactly, and why did they want the girl?

Before we go any farther, I’d like to take a moment to talk about Elizabeth. She is, after all, the glue that binds the whole thing together. She’s your co-star throughout, and provides a nice emotional counterpoint to the jaded gun-for-hire that is you (Booker DeWitt). Now, speaking from experience, having a companion in a game generally equates to them being boring, dumb, and repetitive. They constantly get in the way, repeat the same inane comments over and over, and often force you to abandon whatever you’re doing so you can make sure they don’t get killed. Annoying, right?

Not so with Elizabeth. Although she falls short of being the strong female companion I hoped she’d be (and was led to believe she’d be, in that deceiving game-play trailer…DEVIL!) in the sense that she is only as useful as you tell her to be, I never felt that she took away from my experience. In fact, it was quite the opposite. I found her expressions and (somewhat naive) reactions to the unfolding story quite endearing, and her penchant for tossing me ammo just as I was starting to run out definitely pulled me out of many a tight spot. Given the game’s limitations, she is quite well-designed, and I daresay the only relationship between video-game characters that even comes close is that of Master Chief and Cortana.

And then there’s this…which is probably one of the most beautifully scripted moments I’ve ever experienced in a video-game:

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(And yes, that’s the actual voice actor of Booker playing the guitar and the actress playing Elizabeth that sings)

Combat in BS:I left something to be desired. Although it was fun to experiment with various combinations of the Vigors (akin to Plasmids in the original Bioshock..and magic powers in other games), the weapons were your standard run of the mill – pistol, shotgun, machine gun, rifle, rocket launcher – and you could only carry two at a time. They even added a “quantum” shield that recharged in cover or after the end of the fight. And unlike in the original, when you never actually knew if you killed the last enemy in an area, here it was noted by a nice “chime” and shield recharge. No more anxiety over whether or not another deranged splicer was hiding just around the corner. Mostly because there were no splicers to worry about.

The enemies of Columbia consisted mostly of policemen and rebels, and every now-and-again you’d come up against a special class like a “Fireman” or “Zealot,” who used the “Devil’s Kiss (fireball)” and “Murder of Crows” powers, respectively. Never once did I encounter an enemy who liked to use “Shock Jockey” or “Bucking Bronco” or any of the other powers, which is actually rather strange given the amount of Vigor bottles I found lying around the city. Not a very smart bunch, unfortunately, and I found playing the game on “Normal” mode to be way way way too easy.

MINOR SPOILERS BELOW!!!

The last 30 minutes of the game are probably some of the most confusing 30 minutes of my life. Even now, two days later, I’m still not exactly sure what happened. Since I don’t want to give anything anyway, I’ll just say that it involves quantum mechanics and parallel universes and they don’t really drop any of this on you until the end. Throughout the game it’s all about finding Elizabeth and getting out of the city. They drop some hints with her ability to open Tears (in reality) and everything, but it does nothing to prepare you for the mind-grenade that takes place there at the end.

And when it was all said and done and the credits started to roll, I wasn’t sure if I should be happy or sad. Now that I’ve had some time to process it, however, I’m leaning towards both. Stick around after the credits (much like in Marvel’s movies) and you’ll see why. It doesn’t hurt that they show a video of the actor/actress behind Booker and Elizabeth recording the song “Will the Circle Be Unbroken” while the credits scroll, because who wants to pay attention to that anyway? The game’s soundtrack does deserves a mention. After all, where else are you going to hear a barbershop quartet rendition of “Tainted Love?”

In summary: Buy this game by clicking on the image to the right. Play it. And if you don’t love it, let me know in the comments. Or by email. Or by posting a giant billboard in the city that reads “DAMN YOU LEWIS DIX.” That is all.


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