I normally don’t do “Sorry.” Just ask my wife. Hi, honey! But in this instance, I do feel as though I owe you (all five or six of you) an apology. Why? Because it’s been twenty-eight days since I last posted here. TWENTY EIGHT!! Do you know how long that is? No? Let me put it this way.

28 days.
4 weeks.
672 hours.
40,320 minutes.
2,419,200 seconds.

As a brand spanking new author, particularly a self-published one, I should be posting once or twice a week minimum. I’ve got to establish an identity. Build a brand. Keep my readers engaged and exited. Etc blah blah. Know what I’ve been doing instead? Reading books, playing video games, annoying my wife, working on the sequel, and endlessly refreshing my Amazon sales data. (IS THAT A NEW SALE? IS IT? YAAAAAAAYA….AH NO. DERP DERP)

But better late than never, right? RIGHT!!!!!!

So how are things going with I, Minion, you ask? Things are going quite well! We’ve sold over a hundred copies to date, and a couple of fantasy book review blogs have been generous enough to add it to their lineup! The first scheduled feature that I know of is June 12th. When that happens, or if another one comes sooner, I’ll definitely let you know here.

On top of that, the giant box of paperback copies that I ordered arrived today! Which means that I’ll be sending out the signed copies to our contest winners here very soon (tomorrow, most like). It also means that if you’re so inclined, you can order a signed copy right here from my website (under the My Books tab) via PayPal, and as soon as the payment clears I’ll get it out the door and into your hands! Exciting times, people!

And just because I’m in a information-sharing mood: Know that I’m planning to release I, Dark Lord on June 30th (my oldest son’s birthday), and close out the trilogy on September 4th (the day my sister pushed her way into this world…literally! Ha!) with I, Savior. But don’t worry, I won’t wait until then to make another blog post.

It’s well after midnight. Ive got a 6 hour drive ahead of me tomorrow (today, technically!) and I believe The Wife AKA Facebook Publicist Machine AKA The Boss is rousing us sometime in the god-forsaken hours between 3AM and 4AM. I should be cuddled up next to her in bed! Instead, I’m sitting here in the dark, peering into my glowing computer monitor and drinking a Samuel Adams Summer Ale. Why, you ask? I’ll tell you!

It’s because I woke up this morning (yesterday morning, technically!) and saw that my novella, I, MINION, was sitting at the #21 spot in the Top 100 Paid Dark Fantasy at Amazon. Guess where it’s sitting now? No, not #25, though it did drop down to that number sometime around midnight. Try again? No? Well, alright. #15!!!! Yes, you heard that right….FIF MOTHA EFFIN TEEN!!!


















We broke the Top 20, and when I say we, I don’t really mean we. I mean you. You did it. It’s because of you: Sharing facebook posts, and tagging pictures with I, MINION on your virtual bookshelves. It’s because of you taking the time out of your day to actually download a copy, read it, and then tell everyone you know that you loved it. This isn’t my success. It’s not even our success. It’s yours. So congratulations! I hope that I can live up to the standard you’ve set for me.

It’s been absolutely unreal these last couple of days. Each and every time someone has left a comment saying how much they loved the book it just…blows my mind. And then I go and peek at I, MINION on Amazon, and see that it’s climbing the charts. Well, it’s safe to say that I’m still not quite sure that I’m not dreaming.

It’s been a very humbling and encouraging couple of days. Thank you all, once again. I’d keep going but I finally feel sleep’s siren call, luring me in. MY BRAIN: Oh, you have to wake up at 4AM? Let’s keep you awake until the last possible second. That way you can make really good decisions and not be a grouchy prick to your wife.

Cheers, all! *downs beer*

OMG OMG OMG OMG

I finally did it. About an hour ago, I submitted I, Minion to Amazon, B&N, iTunes, and Kobo. That means in less than 12 hours, people from all over the country will be able to read something that I created. Me. Lewis Dix. That big goofy bastard that you can barely understand. Yup! That’s right!

It’s been one hell of a ride, and I know that I couldn’t have done it without the love and support from my family and friends. To everyone that’s been there for me at one point or another along this incredible journey, I just want to say thank you! Thank you thank you thank you!

Being a writer, or any kind of artist really, is quite scary, when you think about it. You spend all this time pouring yourself into something – be it a book, a painting, or a song, and then you put it out there for the world to judge. Some of them will hate it. Some of them, if you’re lucky, will love it. Most probably won’t even care. But the fact of the matter is you’re exposing yourself to people you don’t even know.

It’s like pulling your pants down in front of the entire world. At first you’re all like, “MY JUNK IS HUGE” and you whip it out like nobody’s business. But once it’s out there, you start to second guess yourself. You start to think “Oh shit…is it really?” You can only hope that the world agrees with you. Or that they, at the very least, keep it in perspective. “Well, it’s big for his height.”

My junk is out there, people. In the coming days/weeks I’ll talk about the lessons learned. And in the meantime, I’ll figure out how I can plug this blurb into my product description:

“This amateur writer guy that I hang out with on rare occasions very rare occasions and mostly says inappropriate things more than appropriate things, finally came out with a book. If you are really desperate and lonely and want to read a new book maybe you can read this one. But you’ll probably be disappointed.” - My good friend Theresa

Ladies and gentlemen, we’re a go for launch!

MARK YOUR CALENDARS! APRIL 24th!

But Lewis, what are we marking?

JUST DO IT YOU HEATHENS!

Okay…..

Ahem.

Anyway, it’s finally happening. I’m pulling the trigger. My novella, which is really just a fancy word for not-quite-a-regular-length-book, is being released to the world on April 24th, 2012.

What’s that, you wrote a book?

Why yes I did. It’s called I, MINION, and it’s a fantasy story about love’s power to overcome any obstacle, even when said obstacle is the fact that you’re a walking corpse enslaved to a great big magic evil dude. Hmmm, reading over that last sentence makes it sound like it’s some kind of mushy romance story-with zombies. But I can assure you that it’s not. After all, love is at the heart of every good story. For example:

1. In Gladiator, Maximum Aurelius loved his family and Rome
2. In 300, same deal.
3. In Jurassic Park, the T-Rex loved eating people.
4. In Robocop, that adorable cyborg loved dispensing JUSTICE!!!

Without love, you got no story. And speaking of, I want to take this opportunity to thank my wife. Because without her love, I would have never been able to write it. Be sure to come back and visit often over the next 7 days, because I’ll be pimping the shiznit out of I, MINION. And talking about…stuff, and things (WALKING DEAD INSIDER’S JOKE…HIGH FIVE!!!)

Today was supposed to be about me.

It was supposed to be the day I kicked off being an author. See? I have this fancy (ahem) new website, and right there under my name it says “Author.” That’s how you know it’s official.

Instead, some sick bastard(s) attempted to make this day about them. A couple of well-placed homemade bombs, and suddenly we’re supposed to perk up and pay attention to whatever it is that led them to take the lives of three people (including an innocent 8-year old girl) and injure a whole lot more. After all, nothing garners sympathy for your cause like random acts of terrorism!

But, you know what? I think they failed. This day wasn’t about them. What I saw, while the news shoved video of the explosions down my throat, were the people who responded to the blasts. I saw yellow-vested police officers run towards the blast sites while everyone else was running away. I saw marathon runners who had just completed 25+ miles shift course and make for the nearest hospital so they could donate blood. I saw hundreds of New Englanders open up their homes to  the stranded Marathoners that were unable to return to their hotels. I saw people all over the country shed tears and say prayers for the victims of this terrible crime.

This day belongs to them. To the people of Boston, and the giant middle finger they gave to the terrorists that tried to make today about them. Today, they showed the world what it truly means to be a human being.

As for me? There’s always tomorrow.